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About Other / Student imthelilaFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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Statistics 249 Deviations 1,786 Comments 12,783 Pageviews

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Sometimes I am so frustrated
I feel like blackness will explode from my shoulders
Ripping skin
Tearing muscle
Snapping sinew
Cracking me in half.
:iconimthelila:imthelila 0 0
The disconcerting loss of time. It is slow at first, a few minutes here, a half hour there. She doesn't worry. Never worries. Then it is hours at a time. Eventually whole days. She worries. Where did that day go? It is not simply losing track. It is much more than that. And she no longer knows how her hands became so arthritic or how her face grew so wrinkled. She knows only that it happened and that a day ago, she was 21. This is not right. She is still 21. Her time, where did it go? Someone is stealing it. And so she strikes out at the strange woman calling her grandma. She can't be a grandmother. She only just turned 21, not even a mother. This girl, she must be the one stealing time.
It is some time later, she doesn't know when. Her time has been stolen again. The time thief is back again and pregnant with thieving spawn. The time is being stolen so as to be fed to that baby. While she was lost, they trapped her in her own home. So she doesn't do much anymore. She can't. The
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I left while you were sleeping.
Quick and loud
And obviously running.
You were drunk.
You remind me too much of someone else.
I wont pick up your phone calls.
And when you finally realize
That I've moved hundreds of miles away
I hope it doesn't hurt.
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Your eyes are dying stars
In the inky blue blackness
Of your face.
Your skin is dusky Persian
Desert sand
Stretched across
The calcium scaffolding
Of your body.
And the reflective
Shine of an oasis mirage
Glares at me from under
The thinning brown tumbleweed
Of your hair.
:iconimthelila:imthelila 1 0
He knew I loved him,
But he doesn't know
That I still do.
And I'd rather live
Shadowed by the pretty,
But not beautiful,
Busty women
Who flock to him
And his money.
I don't think he ever loved me.
And now that I've
Moved on
He doesn't think
About me anymore.
Except to slander me
To those I used to call
And maybe sometimes,
When he sees my boyfriend,
He is glad he didn't stay with me.
I dream about him.
Never anything bad
Or scandalous.
Just dreams
Of sitting in my car,
Sharing cigarettes,
And joints.
I won't be happy.
Not now or ever.
Because the boy I love
Will never be the man
Who loves me.
:iconimthelila:imthelila 1 0
I do
Why aren't you angry?
I am.
And maybe
I'm angry enough for the both of us.
But why aren't you angry?
Don't you blame God?
Don't you think this was unfair?
That you don't deserve this?
I do
I do
It makes me want to scream.
Why don't you scream?
Why don't you want to hit someone?
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Mature content
Loss :iconimthelila:imthelila 0 0
She is my age,
And beautiful,
And successful,
And talented,
And good,
And adored.
I am young,
And ugly,
And ineffective,
And mediocre,
And bad,
And invisible
I was envious,
She was oblivious.
Now I am as unfeeling
As she is compassionate.
:iconimthelila:imthelila 0 0
Fever Dreams
I spread the cream on my thighs, thinking that my numb fingers belonged to someone else.
If I pretended hard enough I could imagine that the cold digits were hers.
And that she cared just enough to come and heal the skin bubbling on my legs.
Those things she said to me:
We do not exist here,
Without our history,
Settled between us.
Like fever dreams,
That just won't disappear.
She never knew how right she was.
The fever dreams surround me like the fire that burned my skin.
She was not there.
:iconimthelila:imthelila 1 0
I am nature
I smile a spiders smile.
My cobweb teeth
Breaking in the wind.
I wink a beetles wink.
My antenna eyes
Muted in the sun.
I dream a snakes dream.
My writhing mind
Slithers in the mud.
I sing a bees song.
My humming throat
Stings your skin.
:iconimthelila:imthelila 1 0
Sugar Mama
I am just a convenience to you.
Every time you need a new pair of sneakers
Or want a home cooked meal delivered to you at work,
I hear your soft deep croons of I love you,
And I concede.
You are a prostitute, of sorts.
Trading false adorations
For material goods.
I wonder if I am first and only
Sugar mama.
:iconimthelila:imthelila 1 1
Getting Lost In The 80's...
Oh Canada! It is the second biggest country in the world (with the fourth smallest population density), the creator of Ice Beer (How many of you are really familiar with Molson Ice?), and the home of Dudley Do-Right (That's right, I remembered the mounties.) A lot of wonderful things us Americans love were created there. Baseball gloves, basketball, standard time, the zipper, to name a few. But really, I'm not impressed. What actually gets me about this sparsely populated country is the long list of performers who hail from this magical land of maple syrup and universal healthcare. I am beginning to think that our northern neighbor has just the right setting to breed musicians.
In case you are wondering why I'm giving you a lesson on this often overlooked country, it's because of a recent discovery. Now I'm giving you a warning, this is not for everyone. Only those with an open musical mind (and believe mine is shut tighter than the next guys) and a fondness for strange covers of 80's
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nothing versus something
I was looking forward to school.
To finally emerge from the nothing of summer,
I am after all just nothing,
And inconsequential.
But you've soured all that for me.
Prematurely taking me from my summer nothing,
And making me to much of a something.
:iconimthelila:imthelila 0 0
Mature content
Desert Disco WIP :iconimthelila:imthelila 0 0
I am a strong believer in the rule of threes. Everything, especially music and hollywood deaths always come in threes. With the passing of Ed McMahon earlier this week and that of Farrah Fawcett this morning, my family members and I were left wondering the awful but unavoidable, "Who's next?"
At 4:30 pm today, our question was answered when first reported the Michael Jackson, the king of pop, had been taken by ambulance to the UCLA Medical Center due to cardiac arrest. The singer was only 50 years old. Family members rushed to his side. His father was quoted as saying "He's not doing well" shortly before he was declared dead.
Jackson, who was set to kick off a comeback tour in London on July 13, was one of the most prolific and inspiring performers of our time. He started his career at a very early age as a member of The Jackson Five and released his first solo album at age 14.
The king of pop will be missed. Already friends and fans are mourning the loss. Twitter, a popular ne
:iconimthelila:imthelila 0 2
Bassnectar At Starscape
On the list of most memorable performances from last weekend's Starscape Festival was that of Bassnectar. The San Francisco based DJ was alloted an hour and a half set on the main stage, starting at 9 p.m. and finishing at 10:30 p.m.
A favorite among the line-up, a very large group rapidly congregated in front of the main stage. The crowd was impossible to navigate, a bouncing, gyrating mob of fans that would not give. To make it to the front of the stage was an impossible task.
The DJ, who's birth name is Lorin Ashton and is known for his long hair just as much as his visuals, spun an amazing set. His song Art of Revolution being one of the most recognizable from that night.
Ask any one of his fans and they will tell you about the perfection of a Bassnectar performance. The visuals, which ranged from cartoon chimps to video of dancing crowds (and have previously ranged from the artwork of Alex Grey to a woman giving birth) are in perfect time and corresponding disposition to his songs
:iconimthelila:imthelila 0 7

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I haven't been on here in forever...

I've been trying, very hard, not to let the writer's block and the tragic boredom of a life unfulfilled kill me. I've been up all night packing. And soon I'll be moving hours from home. And then halfway across the country. And I'll be fighting off a death caused by the uncertainty of a life well lived.

If there is anything I've learned, it's that life ends quickly.



Artist | Student | Other
United States
Skin of choice: His.
Personal Quote: "And we two will sing like birds I' the cage" King Lear

Journal History


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wylf Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2016  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I remember you.....


Here's hoping that life is doing you better than when we were younger...

GabrielChartier Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2011  Professional Photographer
Hey, I really love your stuff.
Laharu Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2010  Professional Artist
thanks for the love! I appreciate the support!
wanderingOstrich Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2010
i can't stop reading your stuff, it is so raw and i don't know...real and touching :)
imthelila Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2010  Student Artist
Thank you very much. I'm afraid there isn't much of a high quality here.
ttbloodlusttt Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2010
Tyvm for the +watch (its been a while so sry) ^.^
paralel Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2010
thank you very much
kalihle Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
thank you for the add
kalihle Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the fav
FusedElegance Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2009  Professional Artisan Crafter
Thanks for watching me!
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